Monday, July 28, 2014

The dole in Australia

Should you be unlucky or lazy enough to be unemployed in Australia, and want some help from the government, you will have your work cut out for you.

If you are under 30, then no money for you for 26 weeks.  And you have to apply for 40 jobs a month.  And do 25 hours a week "work for the dole".  And once you've got through that 26 weeks and they finally pay you, its not enough to actually live on.

Of course applying for 40 jobs a month will be very productive.  I've read somewhere that the number of jobs available actually increases in proportion to the number of job applications.  So increasing employment is as simple as applying for lots of jobs.  Its counterintuitive, but sometimes magic does happen!

There is a problem though.  Employers, particularly well known employers, will be inundated by job applications.  Now to apply for 40 jobs a month, you'll have to apply for jobs that you actually have no hope of getting.  Particularly if you are young and have no experience.  So I suggest a simple system to make life easier for employers.  If you are applying for a job because you have to, then at the top of your application, you should write, "I'm only doing this because if I don't, I won't get JobSearch Allowance".  That way employers can just ignore your application.  If, on the other hand, you actually feel that you could do the job, and actually want to do the job, then you replace the application rider with "I really do want this job".

Now the government might dislike this approach, so maybe we need to use some sort of code.  I know.  If you don't want the job, you write, "Joe Hockey is a great guy" on the application.  If you do want the job, you write, "Joe is a sanctimonius cunt".

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Stem cell treatments

Watched a tv show the other day where the host followed a couple of guys to India, as they chased stem cell therapy.  One because he was going blind, and the other because he was a paraplegic.

Anyway, on stem cell place was obviously shonky.  We didn't see the other place, but back in Australia the guy reckoned his sight had improved.  I'm not so sure about that.  But what clearly had happened, and was obvious, was that he had more hair on his head - which he seemed to think was a side effect of the therapy.  So forget trying to cure blindness with stem cells.  You'll make an awful lot more money curing baldness with stem cells!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Putin and G20 meeting in Brisbane

Vlad the impaler is due to attend a G20 meeting in Brisbane shortly.  Now some people are suggesting we don't let him come, but that would be churlish.  Of course he should come.  But maybe at the airport a group of masked people who look like they might be rugby front rowers could seize control.  We'll call them "rebels".  And Campbell Newman and Tony Abbott could say that unfortunately they have lost control of the airport, and that the "rebels" are nothing to do with them.  And when the "rebels" locate Vlad, he may well find that they aren't happy with him.

The Russians no doubt will come up with some cock and bull story about how our government arranged the whole thing and were behind the "rebels" all along.  We'll tell the truth and say that Vlad's detention is the work of disaffected Russian oligarchs.

While he is detained, action man Vlad will be "encouraged" to have a karate match with someone his age and weight, but who is actually good at karate.  It will be telecast direct to Russia, because they love action man, and would love to see one of his regular displays of machismo.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

The carbon tax in Australia

Just a little post about this.

When the carbon tax was introduced in Australia, there were tax cuts to go with it.  For most people, the carbon tax and the tax cuts offset each other, leaving them neither better or worse off.

There are people who think that this means the tax could not work.  Actually, I should take the word "think" out of there.  If you think about it, it can work very well (that is, achieve its goal of reducing emissions), even if you give all the money raised by the carbon tax back to the people.

However, there were winners and losers.  The big losers were people who were responsible for lots of emissions.  The winners were those who didn't emit much.  But overall, it was pretty neutral.

How then can Tony Dickhead Abbott claim that we'll be $550 better off with the repeal of the carbon tax?  Easy, you cancel the carbon tax, but keep the tax cuts.  You keep the tax cuts at a time when we supposedly have a "budget emergency".  Because if you want to save the country from a budget emergency, you don't increase taxes.  No, you take money away from single parents and the young unemployed and aid to poor countries.

Who did it?

Sometimes the media are too cautious.  They are talking about the need for a thorough investigation to find out who shot down MH17.  FFS, the Russian invaders of eastern Ukraine tweeted that they had shot a plane down.  I'm inclined to believe them.

Lets just make the obvious conclusion.  Ukrainian rebels augmented with Russian military forces used a Russian rocket launcher to shoot the plane down.  They didn't know it was a passenger plane, because they are idiots.  Immature boys playing with big toys.  Ruining lives so that they can have some meaning in their own.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Bloody thugs

So some Russian separatists in Crimea have killed 298 people by shooting down a plane using a missile system donated by Russia.

And you know what I think?  I think the people who did this are so bloody selfish that they reckon this is just an unlucky accident in their heroic fight for freedom.

Total fucking dickheads.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Claremont Quarter

And shopping centres everywhere.

So I went into Claremont Quarter, to go to EB Games.  All good.  Anyway, its a depressing place, the shopping centre.  All the big name shops are there.  I don't know there names, but they are there.  And I find it depressing.  Each of these retail outlets is a national brand, owned by shareholders, for whom it must turn a profit.  No doubt the people working in the shop are very knowledgable about the product they sell.  But they didn't choose it.  They make very few decisions about how their shop runs.  They just work there.

And of course this applies particularly to my favourite type of shop, the coffee shop.  So you'll find Gloria Jeans and The Coffee Club in shopping centres.  And how dismally boring is that?  Compare them to Moore & Moore in Freo, or to Barretts in Nedlands, or Gusto or Bookcafe in South Perth or Swanbourne, or Blend in Myaree, or Greens & Co in Leederville.  Forget it, there is no comparison.  And I haven't listed the coffee shops that actually try and give you exceptional coffee (Luis Baxter, Spring, Elixir etc).

At least when it comes to coffee shops, it seems there is very little in the way of economies of scale.  And absolutely no excuse to go to Gloria Jeans, Coffee Club, or (heaven forbid) Starbucks.  Just don't do it.